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Motherhood, A Profession

I treat my role as a mommy seriously. To my eyes, there is no difference between working at an office and staying home as a mom of two. Both are professions that need attention and care.  My household is like a zillion-euro project. I carefully plan all the steps and deal with it with all my heart and energy. Balancing between raising kids, finishing house chores and doing something for myself is my aim.

For raising kids, I believe that everything starts from home, the basic. Parenting books guide me on breastfeeding, solid food, healthy food, scheduling, language and other things. Trials and errors are my daily bread until I find the best way that fit my munchkins. I usually give a full attention to my kids for an hour or two before moving to the house chores.  Throughout the day, I cook and sing to my kids at the same time, do the laundry when answering their 'why questions'  and finish my writing with ears following my son's piano practice.

At the same time, I want to reach the equilibrium of 'Happy Moms Create Happy Kids'. Scheduling my kids and plan my days by minutes work very well for me and the kids. Kids are happy and content because they know what to expect and I save my own sanity. Besides, their fixed nap and bed times give me lots of time for myself (Joseph and Louise sleep 11 hours in the night and Louise takes a 3 hour nap per day). Yes, the luxurious 'Me Time'.  I have enough time to read books, finish my writing, watch DVDs, chat or browse the internet.  I even have time to talk and cuddle with my husband.

Of course, like any other profession, there are rainy days of being a mom.  There are times when kids are difficult or sick and days when I have to catch some writing deadlines.  On those days, I whine. I complain about the time I consume to take care of my kids (bathing, bonding, educating, loving) or about the energy I spend to finish the house chores (cooking, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, ironing)  or about my own hobby (research and writing) or even about those three all together. Sometimes, I wonder why women are born with high commitment, responsibility and nurturing instinct. These blessings sometimes feel like a curse because we are forever bound to take care of our family. Also this never ending question on 'why multitasking is only for women' (and not for husbands!!) keep on lingering inside my head. 

However, mothers have always been the pillars to humankind and I guess that's how the world goes.  After sharing my bad days with other moms, I always resume my tasks just like an employee at an office who returns to her work after cursing the job.  At the end of the day, although I'm tired and cannot wait for my kids to jump into their beds, I actually cherish the story time, when the three of us snug together and my kids constantly argue on who should get the most hugs from mama. When they kiss me good night and say in their sweet tiny voices: "I love you, mama, see you tomorrow",  I usually hug them longer to smell their youth and wish they would stay little.

Happy Mother's Day!


( 29 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 10th, 2009 07:17 pm (UTC)
Happy Mother Day
Dikau benar San..tugas kita memang kadang2 lebih dr kerja di kantoran maka itu tugas seorang ibu adalah sangat mulia.Kadang2 saya berfikir jangan sampai aku gagal mendidik anak ku karna aku sudah berhenti bekerja untuk mereka.

Aku juga lagi enjoy banget sekarang sama mereka berdua dan Nikita mulai ngomong dan cerewet,24 jam aku mengawasi mereka, hatiku sangan riang pas Victor membacakan puisi pendek yang sudah di persiapkan dr sekolah yang menyebutkan Bonne fete maman et je t'aime.

Ya...Bonne Fete a tout les Maman....
May. 16th, 2009 06:12 pm (UTC)
Re: Happy Mother Day
Hidup ibu2!Biarpun sering ngomel2 krn kebanyakan yg diurus, tetep kita ngga mau tuker tempat kan hehehehhe
May. 11th, 2009 11:25 am (UTC)
Happy Mother's Day.....
Selagi Tuhan masih memberi kita kesempatan dan waktu utk bersama mereka, berikan yang terbaik dan enjoy every second saat2 bersama mereka San.
Masa kanak-kanak mereka cuma sekali,ntar kalau mereka sudah beranjak dewasa tidak ada lagi panggilan manja minta tolong pada kita, karena mereka sudah mandiri.

Setelah punya Nadia baru saya sadari menjadi full mom ternyata lebih complicated dibanding dengan profesi lain (pendapat saya lho...). Sebuah profesi yang sangat mulia yang membutuhkan dedikasi, kesabaran yang sangat tinggi, kasih sayang yang seluas samudra dan persediaan memaafkan yg tidak pernah habis.
Lebih tepat lagi selalu memberi tanpa pernah mengharapkan balasan.

Sekarang saya juga lagi sangat menikmati hari2 bersama Nadia, walaupun dia sudah agak besar but she is still my baby.

Happy mother's day....
May. 16th, 2009 06:16 pm (UTC)
Re: Happy Mother's Day.....
Ya iya makanya saya milih tinggal di rumah untuk ngebesarin anak2 selagi mereka masih kecil heheheh.

Yg namanya emak2 pastinya ya maunya ngasih yang terbaik buat anaknya, walaupun definisi 'terbaik' buat tiap emak beda2.

Bairpun saya memilih untuk tinggal di rumah, saya tetap manusia. Kalau saya lagi suntuk saya akan beristirahat dari mengurus mereka selama beberapa jam atau beberapa hari. Setelah kembali dari 'liburan', saya bisa bekerja kembali dengan baik.
May. 13th, 2009 11:27 am (UTC)
'why multitasking is only for women' (and not for husbands!!)

I cannot say it better, San!
Great post, by the way.

May. 16th, 2009 06:16 pm (UTC)
Re: Multitasking
It's a curse, Dep, it's a curse!!!
May. 13th, 2009 12:56 pm (UTC)
Happy Mother's Day to you :)
Motherhood and multitasking is something which the guys just can't manage when they are force to fill our shoes :)

From Dominique's Desk
May. 16th, 2009 06:17 pm (UTC)
No, they definitely lacking in that particular skill. I sometimes wonder why some men think they are superior hehehhe
May. 13th, 2009 01:44 pm (UTC)
Okay, Mother's day has long gone by now ( though "someone told me something like this is usually celebrated on the 22nd of December in Indonesia), but the pivotal role of mothers is forever.

It's a 24/7 job. But it is also the most rewarding, at least one the the most rewarding, jobs in the history of mankind. Immediately after being a granddad (-mother).

And I might add: happy is the man who is occasionally cuddled by a happy mom.

May. 16th, 2009 06:18 pm (UTC)
Re: pillars
Yes, in Indonesia we celebrate it on 22 December.
It is rewarding in a way that only those with kids would understand :D.
May. 15th, 2009 09:48 am (UTC)
Happy Mother's Day
I agree and am happy being a mom too, happy mother's day, dear Santi !!

Salam, Anky
May. 16th, 2009 06:19 pm (UTC)
Re: Happy Mother's Day
Happy mommy's day, mbak Anky!!
May. 15th, 2009 03:52 pm (UTC)
Happy mother's day
Totally agree with you on women beeing multitasking. That's why they said that we will live longer than men :-)
May. 16th, 2009 06:19 pm (UTC)
Re: Happy mother's day
Oh gosh .. that's why there are more widows on earth... LOL!!!
Jun. 1st, 2009 02:35 pm (UTC)
Hello, I just added you, if you don't mind. I'm an academic-slash-mum raising a trilingual child too (Spanish, French and English) and am very interested in your LJ. Best wishes!
Jun. 1st, 2009 02:43 pm (UTC)
Hi Vervain! Done!
Jun. 1st, 2009 06:11 pm (UTC)
Nice post!!!
I'm sure your cute kids are happy with such a carrying mum!!!
I always say to my friends that being a mum is a profession ;) Now I'm sure that it is
Jun. 1st, 2009 07:38 pm (UTC)
Thank you. Yes, an all-in profession that is :D!
Jun. 2nd, 2009 02:17 am (UTC)
I'm not a mom, but I already recognize this mijmering (not sure how to translate, reflection?):

Also this never ending question on 'why multitasking is only for women' (and not for husbands!!) keep on lingering inside my head.

I'm not sure if you're just talking about how male and female brains work in slightly different ways (which is certainly true, I keep discovering proof of this on a daily basis), or also about keeping up the house.

My mother in law actually made quite a nasty comment because she saw me 'make her poor boy mop the floors' yesterday before the housewarming party (because she arrived early, naturally). Poor thing, surely his fragile little hands will fall off, never mind I slaved away in the kitchen all day to prepare adapted foods for his family (one veggie, two allergic) ^^

I really love the way you describe story time with your children. I remember story time with my dad, the relaxing effect of a quiet moment at the end of the (busy) day. It makes having children sound fulfilling and lovely, not just really complicated and worrisome.

I hope you had a wonderful mother's day!
Jun. 2nd, 2009 09:47 am (UTC)
Ik kan wel Nederlands spreken, minder dan Engels maar tot nu toe lees ik nog veel boeken van Nederlandse schrijvers.

LOL, I found men unable to multitask on everything. It doesn't really appear before the kids arrive, but once kids are there it becomes obvious that most men could be very useless at home.

I read some books on parenting boys and girls, and actually male and female brains are wired differently since the beginning. I can already see it from my kids behaviour, where my son is obviously a candidate husband and my daughter is already a little mama!

Heheh talking about mother-in-law, they just love to think that their sons are suffering both physically and mentally after living with us.

Jun. 2nd, 2009 03:00 pm (UTC)
Ik ben bang dat je me misschien moeilijker zult begrijpen als ik op Nederlands overschakel, daarom doe ik het niet :)

I do most of my reading in Dutch, but I rarely read Dutch authors. Maybe it's just the books that have been recommended to me in school, but so far I haven't found a single Dutch writer I truly enjoyed. Too often I find them to be coarse and overly focused on whatever is ugly or negative. But again, this just might be because my teachers were all overly hung up on a certain kind of genre that is perceived as 'true' literature in Flanders.
Jun. 2nd, 2009 04:06 pm (UTC)
Ja, vergelijken met Engels lees ik langzamer in Nederlands maar begrijp ik wel :D.

Ah ya, of course you see it from the Vlaamse perspective. Ik heb nooit iets van Belgische schrijver gelezen maar een van mijn Hollandse vrienden heeft de werken van Hugo Claus geadvieseerd. "Vrijdag" of "Bruid in de Morgen" of "Het verdriet van België". Ik ga met de laatste titel beginnen. Het is de beroemdste werk van Claus, toch?

Actually what I've been reading from the so called Dutch authors are more on the historical part. You know once Indonesia was occupied by the Dutch and it interests me to learn more about what happened in the past etc from the Dutch perspective.

I browsed through your blog, it seems you love to read as much as I do :D.
Jun. 2nd, 2009 07:43 pm (UTC)
Hugo Claus is een goed voorbeeld van een schrijver die hier sterk wordt opgehemeld maar waar ik zelf niks aan vind. Maar misschien ga jij wel genieten van dit boek, dus ik wens je veel leesplezier!

Different perspectives are indeed very fascinating, for example a girl from the USA I know insisted North-America is a seperate continent, while I as a European learned America includes both the north and south part. On the other hand we were taught Europe is a seperate continent while she was convinced it's Eurasia. I guess all of those things can be true depending on how you look at it.

Yes, I have a tiny book addiction ^^ I've banned myself from getting more books, all our IKEA furniture is new and it's already filled to the brim. But if I remember correctly you can buy extra parts to expand upwards, so I'll look into that :D
Jun. 3rd, 2009 03:49 pm (UTC)
I saw picture of your Billies! We have the same, with extensions on top :D. I also have to stop myself from buying too many books because we just keep on moving. I limit myself to buy necessary books for my research and the rest I borrow them from the libraries. Otherwise we will have a big problem each time we move :D.

Hey, that's really interesting indeed. Our American friends also said the same thing, when my German teacher just explained north-south America as one.

Weet je wat, op mijn laatste reis naar Holland heb ik veel boeken gekocht. Maar met twee kinderen enz, I could only read 3-4 pages per night. Hugo Claus is nog heel ver van waar ik nu blijf zo ja ik moet dus veel geduld heb.

After this 'LJ Spotlight' is over, I will start visiting my new friends' LJ as well. See you later!
Jun. 3rd, 2009 01:31 am (UTC)
Hi, I was pointed your way by the lj spotlight. I hope you don't mind my intrusion.

I am passively bilingual in German, and I have always been very frustrated when I see Dutch writing because it seems so similar to German that I can almost understand it, but never well enough to make do. I believe you're learning German right now, yes? Do you find them to be very similar? I want to expand my linguistic range but I don't know if Dutch would be a good place to start.

And thanks for the link in your profile about Third Culture Kids. It's great to see my confusion about my own childhood validated that way!
Jun. 3rd, 2009 03:53 pm (UTC)
If I were you, I would rather improve my German than to learn a new language. German and Dutch are similar indeed, but they are still two different languages with different grammar, vocabs, etc.

About TCK, you might find Sydney Pollock's book, the 'Third Culture Kids' useful. It has been a guide for TCK.
Jun. 4th, 2009 02:37 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the advice! I am working on my German, although it's slow going. And thank you also for the book rec; I'll keep an eye out for it.
Jun. 2nd, 2009 06:56 pm (UTC)
For those who say that raising a kid is not a job....
I totally get what you mean... I am not a mom myself. although I have been babysitting my nephew since he was 4 months old five days a week from 6 a.m till 7 p.m... It is just as you say: sometimes is a curse, other times is a blessing.... sometimes you just want for the kids to freeze for a minute and the next you want to jump and play with them... what really bugs me and pisses me off is that when I am starting a course in college and the professor makes everyone say what they do for a living, when I say that I am like a part time mom all my classmates assume that I am a lazy ass and that they do the "real" work... -_- Ha they wish! From changing nappies, taking care when a kid is sick, potty training and more, this is a real job! People my age think that this is a walk in the woods... yeah right!!!! u.u There were times when I was so exhausted that the baby cried all day long for his mommy that when I went to bed I could actually hear him crying.... And you are right, schedules work wonders!!! Gabriel always takes a nap after lunch and I teach him writing and vocabulary during the day.... He hates when I have to go to school, because he cannot get his usual classes and is complaining about going to kindergarden next year, because he claims he doesn`t need it... well, this comment got waaaay too long! Bye!
Jun. 3rd, 2009 03:56 pm (UTC)
Re: For those who say that raising a kid is not a job....
Yes unfortunately raising kids are still seen by many as a less appealing and not challenging enough. LOL, yes wait until they have to deal with kids everyday!
( 29 comments — Leave a comment )

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