Just to say I'm leaving now to get myself out of this situation, so don't call me for now.
I won't have my life sabotaged.
- What will happen is that people, following this post might just think I'm mad but I'm not
- I really did have something bad happen to me at home and goodness knows why.
- the post I wrote over on dreamwidth does not mean I'm confusing life with a bad dream because I am not.
- i won't be followed about by odd people
- i won't be targeted by idiots.
- i won't just lose the guy i care about.
- i need to say that i was spiked and driven to a state of ill health on purpose
- i need to say who did it even if there is no proof because I swear this on anything holy, I swear this on my whole life.
- i need to get out of this situation.
- I need Bristol and the man I love to believe me.
- I need my old classmates from school to believe me
- I say the truth now as someone who went to Red Maids.
- Joe ( may I call you this, Joseph?) Rembrandt dear - whatever you or anyone thought I was, why I wouldn't get in touch with you for real, ask to meet up or something...
it's because I was scared for you. Because something bad was being done to me.
I am a woman that is now gambling goodness knows what away simply because she loves you. I am a woman that could maybe have gambled her whole freedom and life away on this fact. But I will not be harmed, Joseph. I will not be harmed and keep silent.
Not when I know all that time I spent just crying, trapped in my mother's house corridor I could have just been out there in Bristol living the fact that
actually I was happy. I was happy because I loved you. I was happy because I was writing a stupid little pseudo intellectual blog that could've seemed dark to people when in fact I was happy. I'm someone that did just want to know you, did just want to at least be friends with you.
I'm someone whose Inner light you never got to fully see simply because I was spiked by these people and terrified, terrified.
they were sort of circumstances beyond my control.
But I am not merely someone's collateral damage.
And I won't let the truth of this not be told.
In all that time I was simply worried about you, Joe. If something had been done to me, what if they were doing something to you - why they would, no idea. And I guess the whole point is that they didn't, that I was the one who was targeted.
- i'm pro free speech, democracy, anti corruption, anti ethnic discrimination, anti racism, feminist.
- I wear a hat due to health issues.
- I miss my old Berlin friends but I want to have friends in Bristol
- at school I spoke to everyone.
- I can't live Love as a mere dream nor not speak when bad things happen.
- I've tried but Joe - I can't do this anymore. Sure, I'm a mess, sure I've had bad things happen to me but you should know, you should know.
The best poetry is the fact that my whole neighborhood heard me say I love you.
The best thing is that people cried in the NHS wards over this.
The fact is, I have suffered.
the fact is I've just stayed in the house for months, days on end simply because I have not known how to deal with such a situation and now the people of Bristol who were trying to help me won't believe I'm not something bad.
The best thing is that sometimes you just fall for someone.
I fell for you through your work, Joe. I fell for you hard.
I'm someone that didn't know how to help herself in a bad situation because whenever she said anything her mother asked her where she had been for days on end when she disappeared on her a while ago because she thinks I was with you for some reason.
She thinks that just because you do ketamine and that I kept talking about you that we could have been together and that you could have spiked me. WE both know this is rubbish because we only met twice and that's years ago.
I'm someone who was harmed and that ended up writing a thriller.
I'm someone that just needed a break and got it but was made too ill to turn it into something else.
i'm someone for whom traffic lights flashed communist red, nationalist green and who divided the living room table into WW2 territory because she knew she had had something done to her but that no-one would believe that a melon could have caused someone harm.
All i care about is poetry. All I care about is real poetry, all I care about is love.
All I care about is that you believe me when I say something bad was done to me and that that is why I was unable to live, breathe, laugh
shine.
Every time I speak of this incident for which there is no proof people say I'm just psychotic, Believe me, I'm not.
Someone tell him I'm not. Someone tell him I'm not. All i am is a serious person. All I am is someone who is still young.
I won't have my life sabotaged.
- What will happen is that people, following this post might just think I'm mad but I'm not
- I really did have something bad happen to me at home and goodness knows why.
- the post I wrote over on dreamwidth does not mean I'm confusing life with a bad dream because I am not.
- i won't be followed about by odd people
- i won't be targeted by idiots.
- i won't just lose the guy i care about.
- i need to say that i was spiked and driven to a state of ill health on purpose
- i need to say who did it even if there is no proof because I swear this on anything holy, I swear this on my whole life.
- i need to get out of this situation.
- I need Bristol and the man I love to believe me.
- I need my old classmates from school to believe me
- I say the truth now as someone who went to Red Maids.
- Joe ( may I call you this, Joseph?) Rembrandt dear - whatever you or anyone thought I was, why I wouldn't get in touch with you for real, ask to meet up or something...
it's because I was scared for you. Because something bad was being done to me.
I am a woman that is now gambling goodness knows what away simply because she loves you. I am a woman that could maybe have gambled her whole freedom and life away on this fact. But I will not be harmed, Joseph. I will not be harmed and keep silent.
Not when I know all that time I spent just crying, trapped in my mother's house corridor I could have just been out there in Bristol living the fact that
actually I was happy. I was happy because I loved you. I was happy because I was writing a stupid little pseudo intellectual blog that could've seemed dark to people when in fact I was happy. I'm someone that did just want to know you, did just want to at least be friends with you.
I'm someone whose Inner light you never got to fully see simply because I was spiked by these people and terrified, terrified.
they were sort of circumstances beyond my control.
But I am not merely someone's collateral damage.
And I won't let the truth of this not be told.
In all that time I was simply worried about you, Joe. If something had been done to me, what if they were doing something to you - why they would, no idea. And I guess the whole point is that they didn't, that I was the one who was targeted.
- i'm pro free speech, democracy, anti corruption, anti ethnic discrimination, anti racism, feminist.
- I wear a hat due to health issues.
- I miss my old Berlin friends but I want to have friends in Bristol
- at school I spoke to everyone.
- I can't live Love as a mere dream nor not speak when bad things happen.
- I've tried but Joe - I can't do this anymore. Sure, I'm a mess, sure I've had bad things happen to me but you should know, you should know.
The best poetry is the fact that my whole neighborhood heard me say I love you.
The best thing is that people cried in the NHS wards over this.
The fact is, I have suffered.
the fact is I've just stayed in the house for months, days on end simply because I have not known how to deal with such a situation and now the people of Bristol who were trying to help me won't believe I'm not something bad.
The best thing is that sometimes you just fall for someone.
I fell for you through your work, Joe. I fell for you hard.
I'm someone that didn't know how to help herself in a bad situation because whenever she said anything her mother asked her where she had been for days on end when she disappeared on her a while ago because she thinks I was with you for some reason.
She thinks that just because you do ketamine and that I kept talking about you that we could have been together and that you could have spiked me. WE both know this is rubbish because we only met twice and that's years ago.
I'm someone who was harmed and that ended up writing a thriller.
I'm someone that just needed a break and got it but was made too ill to turn it into something else.
i'm someone for whom traffic lights flashed communist red, nationalist green and who divided the living room table into WW2 territory because she knew she had had something done to her but that no-one would believe that a melon could have caused someone harm.
All i care about is poetry. All I care about is real poetry, all I care about is love.
All I care about is that you believe me when I say something bad was done to me and that that is why I was unable to live, breathe, laugh
shine.
Every time I speak of this incident for which there is no proof people say I'm just psychotic, Believe me, I'm not.
Someone tell him I'm not. Someone tell him I'm not. All i am is a serious person. All I am is someone who is still young.
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trilingual- Santi D
